As many of you know, I was adopted at just three days old. Often I get asked if I ever plan to meet my biological mother. The short answer? I don’t. I have a full life. A good life! It’s never really been something that I wonder about. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think of her often. And in fact as I’ve gotten older and have had two children of my own, the magnitude of what she did becomes clearer and my gratitude for her gift grows deeper.
Esley and I, Captured by Sarahdipity Photos
So even though I will most likely never meet her, I still want to thank her. To thank every woman who chose, is choosing and will choose giving us babies of adoption it all.
I don’t remember the last day we were together, my birthday. I don’t remember looking into your eyes. I don’t remember if you held me close. In fact I don’t really know anything about who you are.
But I love you. I am thankful for you. And I need you to know that you are so brave.
You could have ended what was to come in those early days after discovering the news of me, but you boldly kept me alive. You could have chosen nights out over cocktails with your girlfriends, but you chose nights in for nine months to let me grow. You could have avoided the emotional roller coaster of feeling my little kicks of joy high in your ribs and all the hormonal pregnancy lows, but you endured those moments to carry me through.
You could have prevented the stretch marks, the wider hips, the stomach that will never seem to lay just right, the engorgement and all the changes to your body that serve as a lifelong reminder of your short time with me, but you welcomed them anyways so that I could be. You could have given up in fear of having to enter into the most painful hours of your life through laboring and delivering me and the grueling weeks of recovery to follow, but you pushed through each contraction so that I could enjoy life.
And after it all you could have said no. You could have changed your mind on giving me a better life than what you could provide. You could have rightly decided on keeping me to yourself, but instead you lovingly gave me away and gave me it all.
You gave me parents who longed so deeply for me and love me fiercely. You gave me two siblings to laugh too loudly at the dinner table with and lean on no matter what may come. You gave me a childhood full of learning and adventures and countless days with my best friends.
You gave me my first kiss in the sixth grade, my first love at sixteen, my first heartbreak at nineteen and my first date with the man who swept me off my feet and said, “I Do” on January 1st three years later. You gave me a passion for creativity, a drive to be an entrepreneur and a thrill of spontaneity.
You gave me two little girls of my own. Eighteen months of growing little lives, riding the twisting emotions, cringing at the changes to my body, bearing the pain of labor and pushing through each contraction all to welcome the most precious gifts in my world.
And I’m saying yes. I am going to give every moment of this life my all and thank you every step of the way.
Were you adopted? I would love to hear if you ever plan to meet your birth mother and how you feel about it all!